i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
