Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
