I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
These tits shall not be calmed
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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