There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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