PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
