Define "chronic" masturbator.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize