Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
