Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize