I want to have your abortion
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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