bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
