It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
