I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I AM VODKA MAN
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
