my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize