I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
