Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize