i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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