So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
