Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
dude i'm inner monologue high
I think my fart just growled at me.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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