No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize