it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
