i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
