There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
