I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
