Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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