remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
