He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
