So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
