Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
