omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
