i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
you never un-have a 4some
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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