Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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