im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
