i permit you to call me
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I think I have vodka in my lungs
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
