oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i wish my penis had a tongue
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
