I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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