she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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