So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
