apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
