It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Randomize
