I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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