I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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