She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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