Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
the liver wants what the liver wants
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
