Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
