guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We have started to decorate penises.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
My boob is missing a layer of skin
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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