i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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