I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
