normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm at about main and main street
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize