k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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