dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
