Apparently you make a good broom.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
