He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize