is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
