every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
