Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
