She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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