I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
another moral hangover. fuck.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Fuck appropriateness.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
