He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
