my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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