Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
