can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
