so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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