I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
