who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
