Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
