I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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