he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
