he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
