I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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